Perspective From a Man Who Encouraged Her to Abort

Perspective From a Man Who Encouraged Her to Abort

Laura Fearnow
October 11, 2022
Minute Read

So many very brave people have stepped forward to speak about how losing a child to an abortion has affected them. There is a lot of shame associated with abortion. Other than the #shoutyourabortion stories you see on social media abortion is a secretive part of many men and women’s pasts.

I hope this interview will open your eyes to the void that often exists in situations of unintended pregnancy. Oftentimes men and women feel as though they will be shamed for their circumstance, and they don’t even discuss the pregnancy with their loved ones. Abortion is advertised as a private and quick way to prevent being ‘embarrassed.’

The gentlemen who shared his story with us experienced a situation just like what I described above, we will call him Josh. He was 19 and his roommate, who we will call Sarah, was 18. They weren’t really in a relationship. They found out Sarah was pregnant and were both really scared, and didn’t know what their friends and family would think.

They decided not to tell anyone. It was unclear if his family or hers would be supportive or be able to help them. Josh truly felt like just considering abortion as an option would have resulted in serious judgement. So, they kept it a secret.

Sarah made an appointment for the abortion in Chicago, and he drove her up there from Lafayette. Neither of them had an understanding of fetal development. This occurred in 1999, when that kind of information wasn’t readily available like it is now.

The clinic told him it would be a while, so he could go shopping or run errands since he wasn’t allowed to go back with her. After her abortion, the lease on their apartment was up. Josh and Sarah drifted apart and eventually just stopped talking to each other and went separate ways in life.

It was a very emotional interview for Josh. He hadn’t talked to anyone about Sarah’s abortion before. We were really honored that he shared his experience with us 23 years later. Josh had a few thoughts as he looked back at his experience and decisions regarding his situation. He urged anyone in a similar situation to take their time in making a decision. He said, “It’s a decision you can’t take back. You don’t realize the full weight of how a decision like that can impact your life. Some mistakes in life you can mess up and do over again, this one you can’t. There is no going back.”

Josh still carries a lot of guilt and shame over his situation even after 23 years. We are all sinners. No sin is greater than another – sin is sin. We all fall short.

Will you join us in praying for Josh and Sarah? Pray that they find healing and forgiveness. Pray for all the men and women that had felt the aftermath of abortion.

Life is sweet, but God’s mercy is sweeter!

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